I now have set boundaries for my self. I no longer am influenced by my ex (at least not complete, but in a few weeks completely) With raising kids I am more certain how to raise them and not let my ex control that part. why, why, why was a great lesson for me. Really dig in your deepest thoughts and find the true reasons behind. The next is boundaries, I have learned to set clear boundaries. And my favorite is love vs fear. Look at a decision and find out what kind of it was. I getting more aware which decisions are from love or fear.